Community: The Remedy to My Grief
If you are a friend of mine, follow me on socials, are a client of mine, are part of the same community or for some reason keep tabs on me (😂) you likely know that I lost my sweet cat, Tortilla, a few days ago. I knew it was going to suck, but what I was not prepared for was the silence in my apartment that feels like torture right now…no other human, no other pet, no TV. Silence and reorienting myself to a new “normal.” Sigh. I will admit, it is harder than I thought. I didn’t know his fur and secret toys would pop up everywhere as constant reminders. The washing machine has seen a lot of blankets, bathrobes, and pillows the past couple of days and I have seriously vacuumed no less than 25 times.
My outbursts of crying are decreasing each day, but are still very real. One thought I keep coming back to is my everlasting gratitude for my yoga practice, as it teaches us to withstand discomfort. This specifically refers to Tapas, the third Niyama which I am very passionate about. I wrote about it previously and you can read about it here.
Yoga also teaches us to be with ourselves, and man, I am with myself more than ever right now. There are many options with how to deal with this-I’m choosing to do my best to stay with it (with some small healthy distractions here and there). 10 years ago I would have made a very different decision on how to deal with this heartache.
The point of this blog is my absolute heart felt blessing for COMMUNITY. If you don’t have one, you’re missing out and I urge you to go find one as soon as you possibly can. It’s been four days since my little buddy left the earth and I’ve received countless supportive and encouraging words, endless hugs, a hand drawn photo of Tortilla, an uplifting tincture, sentimental cards, flowers, plants, voice notes, and my absolute favorite…phrases/words/invitations filled with genuine love & care: “I’m here for whatever you need.” “Come by anytime.” “I’ve been thinking of you.” “Ask for signs, he will give them to you!" “You’re so lucky that you got so much time together.” “It will get easier with time.” “That cat was a legend!” (Yes, he really was!)
Life is better with amazing people in it. Ask yourself: Who lifts your spirit? Who do you want to see more of? Who celebrates you? Who makes you feel held & supported? Go for more of this. Community, connection and friends will help you through the tough parts of life. My friendships are on of my biggest blessings.
You can ask yourself the opposite question: Who drains your energy? Who depletes you? Who makes you feel like you constantly need to prove yourself? Who does it feel like a chore to spend time with? Can you limit these relationships, and add time and energy to the supportive ones?
Infinite thanks to the beautiful people in my life who add such love.
Your life always reflects you.
